Anyways... being in prison and ab serving this Holiday take place is quit an event; people selling cards left and right, others just can't seem to sell any, then you have all the inmates who have just burnt all their bridges with family and friends to the point they have no money, and if they did.... no one to send a card too, and as crazy as that sounds..... they are a lot of inmates like that here... no money, no love ones... no hope, how a person lives in here is usually a reflection of how they lived their lives out there.... a real " I don't give a shit" attitude about life in general, all selfish thoughts and, considerate to none but themselves.
When I write my wife, or have a visits with my family; I am truly humbled by the sacrifices that they make on my behalf.... I have come to acknowledge and appreciate all my loved ones do for me; and while I know that a card or letter can't compare with the things they do for me, I hope it's a small gesture of my appreciation in acknowledgement of all they do for me; a reminder that I will not ever forget the strength and loyalty they've shown me though the years.
My wife and I; we have always been bestfriends first and for most, then husband and father; this has allowed us to enjoy what a lot of people don't truly have in their relationship...
"communication" open and honest, we've had a lot of "haters" that just don't get it and, that's cool because, all we know is what works for us and our relationship.... no one likes to air their dirty laundry in the open, but at the same time people need to understand that their is in fact a time, a place, and a person to " air things out" with. I for one can appreciate my wife lending a strong ear when I'm "venting" and Lord knows she appreciates mine... We have grown a great deal over the years, past our broken relationships with others; distant family relations that have just grown colder with time and friends whom over the years have just shown their true colors and what was really behind their intentions befriending you years prior.... life goes on and we become smarter as to the actions and reactions of others over time... I've been judged by people who don't know me most of my life but when some one or some people that you consider family in your eyes choose to judges you.... well it hurts.
I've been a boy with no worries, a fool with careless actions and a man that has learned from his mistakes and faults..... it's called growing up but; always there will be some who will only remember you for what and where you've been, not where and who you have become today. Life is precious, appreciate it; and respect humanity around you.... even in a place like prison I've chosen to appreciate my humanity and others.... thus I write the story's I do; crud they may be, my goal is for you to see and somewhat feel the things I do... and guess what? No matter what your opinion...
I will still always respect you as a person.
Look prison sucks! Food sucks, taking showers with a bunch of dudes.. sucks, taking a shit while some one brushes there teeth right in front of you sucks. But for me , if I can't laugh at this situation... well then I will be the one choosing to loose my humanity.....
I've got no time for looking back in life; only forward to what tomorrow holds.... and hopefully allow my family and friends { the ones who have been there for me } to know how much I do appreciate them and what it takes to make any kind of friendship/ relationship commitment to a convict.......
and that's just real!!!!!
The Mentch
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